we were pretty classy up until the second keg
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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