I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Two words: nipple clamps
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