making cat noises will not fix the situation.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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