so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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