we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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