when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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