we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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