let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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