Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize