I can text with my tongue
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize