Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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