ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize