Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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