who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize