I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize