At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize