we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize