Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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