Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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