hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize