i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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