how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
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Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
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The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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