You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize