i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
well I can't set my house on fire every night
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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