I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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