Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
id be glad to
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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