I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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