She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
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I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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