There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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