THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
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Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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