I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize