you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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