i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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