I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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