I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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