the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
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okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
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I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And my parents said I crawled through the house
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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