Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize