I can tuck mytits in my pants
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize