I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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