i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize