You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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