He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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