If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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