Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
