He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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