I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so let's talk penis.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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