I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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