I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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