drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
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you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
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we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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