well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
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I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
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Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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