when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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